Life Influences: Tom Smith

Tom Smith was my dad and a person who had a great impact on me until cancer took his life on April 5, 2005.  Even after his passing, the example he provided continues to impact my professional and personal life today.  My dad was a man a character and his word was everything.  When he said something to a person, you knew that he would follow through on what he had said.  My dad was a family man, and believed in, upheld, and nurtured the essence of a family.

The influence of my dad helped shape my professional life.  One of the driving principles I utilize in the workplace today is honesty.  I have practiced this my entire career, and have found it simplifies work, builds trust, and promotes teamwork.  Most staff I hire are quickly informed of this character trait with the explanation that through experiences and time, I hope they too will practice honesty.  My experience is that staff quickly realize the benefits and adopt this trait, and the influence of my dad is then passed on to others.

The family values I hold close also reflect the example provided by my dad.  My dad worked hard, played hard, but also enjoyed family time.  I am a family man to the core!  I love my two boys, my wife, and yes, even our two dogs--after all, they are a part of our family too.  Our family time often involves camping in our travel trailer.  We love to camp, and have seen many great sights in Oregon, and plan to see many more sights in the coming years (Canada, California, and maybe even Alaska).

Our KZ Spree 318bhs LX and Ford Excursion V10

Not only was my dad a major influence on my life, he was also my best friend.  We could talk about anything, and he would provide me advice from both a godly and a personal experience perspective.  I have taken this approach with my two boys, and hope that they too would continue this practice with their future children.

My dad also influenced my love for cars and working on them.  Unfortunately, my boys have not taken up the love of working on cars, but they do love new cars!  My dad and I spend hours and hours together while working on the Malibu, but that time was also spend discussing God, family, work, and life in general.  I miss those times, but have many pictures and videos of my dad and me, and the Malibu.

The Malibu--need I say anything more?

Dad, this post is dedicated to you and the example you provided to me.  I miss you, love you, and desire to be the type of father with my boys that you were with me.  I also realize that if I only become half the man that you were, I will still be more than any man on this earth.  Dad, you are forever remembered.

Life Influences: Dan Berguson

I first met Dan Berguson in 1995 when interviewing at Kingdom, Inc., in Mansfield, PA, for an Accounting Supervisor position.  It was in that interview that I also had my first interview blunder. When I sat down for the interview in Dan's office, I commented that I had dinner the night before with Johnny, his dad.  Dan broke out in laughter as I sat there stunned, trying to figure out what I had said wrong.  He said "thank you, but Johnny is my older brother," and then we both laughed.  I ended up landing my first management position at Kingdom as their Accounting Supervisor in charge of a great team who was responsible for billing and accounts receivable.  Dan Berguson was my manager for nearly 10 years, and we grew to be great friends. 

Dan is one of those people you hear about who grew up in a small town, lived in that same town their entire life, and everyone knows his family.  He is a great husband, loving father, and invests in those around him.  He genuinely cares about his employees, their families, and truly wants them to succeed in life.  Much of the business philosophy and principles I utilize in the work environment today, I learned from Dan.  He was my first business mentor.

About twice a year, Dan and I connect over the phone or through email.  I enjoy hearing how his children have grown and have started their own families, how the Kingdom business is doing, and how the small town of Mansfield is thriving.  I miss that small-town life, it's simplicity, and tranquility.  Most of all, I miss seeing Dan in his element--feeding his horses on the way to work, coaching an employee at work, or sharing about life with someone in town.

Dan, thank you for taking a risk on hiring a young kid with a college degree and only one year of experience, and then investing nearly ten years of your life in him.  I attribute much of my success in business and management to your mentoring and friendship.  Never forget that you made an impact on someone--me.  Thank you.

Life Influences: Butch Etheredge

I loved playing football in high school, and played under a great coach named Mr. Butch Etheredge (Coach Etheredge).  Coach Etheredge was a gentle giant of a man who pushed his players hard, yelled at them on the field, and supported and invested in their lives off the field.  His enthusiasm for sports was contagious, and his love for life was even more contagious.  Throughout my high school years, I also had the privilege of being good friends with Coach Etheredge's son Doug.  Doug and I used to cruise Silver Springs Boulevard in Coach Etheredge's 1969 El Camino SS 396.  It was one bad car and always made heads turn.

One football memory I have is from a game against Landmark Christian--who had a very good running back.  When we arrived in the motor coach at their field, Coach Etheredge gave us a pep talk and played the song "Eye of the Tiger" from the movie Rock IV.  The pep talk worked because we shut down Landmark's running back and won the game, and I also ran a 99-yard touchdown.  Every time I hear that song today it takes me back to that pep talk and game.

After nearly 20 years away, I visited OCA in July 2010 and had lunch with Coach Etheredge, who currently functions as the Maintenance Supervisor and Athletic Director.  We rode to lunch in my brother-in-laws Toyota Spyder with the top down, glasses on, and hair blowing in the wind--it was a blast.  It was great catching up with Coach Etheredge over lunch, and then walking through the gymnasium lobby and looking at all the trophies and plaques.  I sure miss those football years, but greatly enjoyed reflecting on those times with Coach Etheredge.  It is great to  know that Coach Etheredge is still investing in the lives of OCA students today.

This post is dedicated to him and his continuing service to students today.  Coach Etheredge showed me that I could accomplish more than I imagined and to never give up...and to enjoy cars.  Coach Etheredge, thank you for investing in me.  You are remembered.

Coach Etheredge and me in July 2010 at OCA.

Life Influences: John Sivley

Mr. John Sivley (Coach Sivley) was my high school basketball coach at Ocala Christian Academy (OCA).  Coach Sivley always taught his basketball players about discipline, respect, and trust.  Focusing on those aspects, he led our OCA team to four consecutive Florida Christian Conference championships from 1986-1989.  I still have the trophies, plaques, and t-shirts from those years, but the most important memory is the godly example that Coach Sivley lived.  I remember the numerous trips to games in the school van where Coach Sivley took the time to provide practical applications of living a Christian life.

My very first post on this blog related to Coach Sivley, and reflected his coaching style in a business context. Click here to read the post.  After writing the MBA paper, I researched and located Coach Sivley in Alabama.  It had been nearly twenty years since we last spoke, but the memories were still there for both of us.  After the call, I mailed Coach Sivley a copy of my paper, and the articles I had found during research.  However, the phrase that resonates in my mind from my conversation with Coach Sivley is "you are the first player to call me".

That phrase still saddens me, but at least I know that in the few minutes that we spoke, I was able to convey to Coach Sivley that his example did make an impact.  This blog post is a tribute to his never-ending dedication to basketball players, his godly example, and his impact on my life.  Coach Sivley, thank you.

The six seniors and Coach Sively from our 1989 championship year. 

Life Influences: Sharon Lloyd

My memories of Mrs. Sharon Lloyd take me back to high school days at Ocala Christian Academy (OCA) when she was a guidance counselor and teacher.  We students often joked about how she always had perfect hair and makeup (as did her two daughters), but having a professional appearance was one of Mrs. Lloyd's signature trademarks.  Mrs. Lloyd had admirable attributes such as a calm demeanor, great listening skills, and a non-judging attitude.  These attributes blended perfectly with her role as a guidance counselor; and, when providing counseling to students, she was direct yet supportive, and always provided a godly perspective.

In July 2010, I had the privilege of visiting OCA (after nearly 20 years away), and stopped in to see if anyone from my high school days stilled worked there.  In reflection of her lifelong passion and skills, Mrs. Lloyd is still at OCA and currently functions as the school's elementary principal.  We had the opportunity to meet and share about life's events over the past 20 years.  It was great to know that she is still making a positive impact in student's lives today.

In recognition of her many years of service and to her impact on my life, I would like to dedicate this post to her and to convey my sincerest thanks for listening, sharing, and caring.  You did make a different in my life, and you continue to do so today in the lives of students at OCA.  Keep up the service, and always know that you are remembered.

July 2010 at OCA with Mrs. Sharon Lloyd.

Life Influences: Top 5 Persons

Over the last couple of weeks, I challenged myself to think about the top five persons who have had the greatest influence in my life.  In the next few weeks, I will share how these persons impacted my life.  Each person deserves a dedicated blog post, so I plan to write about them one at a time.  Most of the people are from my high school years at Ocala Christian Academy, one person was from the onset of my professional career at Kingdom, Inc., and one person was with me through most of my life.  The list below, in no particular order, represent those persons who have had the greatest influence in my life:

• Sharon Lloyd, high school guidance counselor and teacher
• John Sivley, high school basketball coach
• Butch Etheredge, high school football coach
• Dan Berguson, manager at Kingdom, Inc.
• Tom Smith, dad and best friend

Loving You

To my love:

I love you for who you are, not for who you used to be.  I love you now, just the way you are.  I love you with no strings attached, no preconceived expectations, and no demands...just simple, crazy love.  You are my world, my universe, and I would give anything to live my whole life over again with you.

Forever yours,
Michael

It's the Little Things That Matter

We often attempt to experience the big moments in life believing that those memories will be the ones that make a lasting imprint on our minds.  I believe we also need to enjoy the little moments...because it's the little things in life that matter.  So for just a few moments I encourage you to stop, take a breath, and reflect on the words below. Let your mind reminisce to that point in time where that little thing mattered.  It's okay to smile, laugh, or even cry as that little thing...that imprint on your memory evokes a wave of emotion.

Are you ready?  Remember...

• your first bicycle...and your first fall and the associated cuts and scrapes
• that cute little bee...that hurt you so badly when it stung
• your first kiss...and first break-up but still "remaining friends"
• your first car...and your first speeding ticket
• that touch from someone special...and losing that when they are gone 
• the birth of your first child...and the birth of your youngest
• your wedding day...and your first "disagreement"
• that gazing look from someone special...and that sharp look from them
• that superb career ladder...and the late nights away from family
• your best friend's laugh...and when you moved away from them
• that someone special...who is still that someone special

...and you thought the little things didn't matter. 

Man's Greatest Pain

Man's greatest pain is not his own, but rather the helplessness he experiences when a loved one is in pain.  For it is then that true pain is felt--that sense of futility, ineptness, and helplessness.  If only man could bear the pain for that loved one; but he cannot.  If only he could control or lessen the extent of that pain, however small, then that would be worth it all.  But sometimes man cannot lessen the pain, and can only watch and suffer in pain with the one he loves.  But that one action could be man's greatest gift to that loved one; for in that moment, he expresses love.

Life Happens

There are events in our lives that forever change our perspectives--your first love, going off to college, your first job, getting married, the birth of your first child, the death of a parent, and many other events that are unique to each individual. I experienced one such event earlier this summer--a work layoff--and although I had been on the "laying off" side of the table many times before, this was my first time on the "laid off" side of the table.

It is difficult to put into words the thoughts, emotions, and psychological effects of such an event. Frankly, I would be too embarrassed to convey how I truly felt, and even my wife probably does not understand how deeply this event "rocked my world"; but looking back on it all, I can honestly say that I am better off having experienced such an event.

Do not misunderstand me, I feel for those who have been laid off and are still looking for work after many, many months. I was fortunate to find work after only a couple of months off; but for me, the layoff and the events that followed (unemployment, job searching, financial struggles, etc.) taught me that life is short, work is just work, family is important, faith is everything, and that no matter how much you might plan for it...life happens.

For many, their perspective (right or wrong) is reality; yet sometimes perspective needs adjusted, and reality remains...well...just reality. For me, the events of this summer more closely aligned my perspective with reality. Reality is that someone else at work can replace us. Reality is that money is not everything and that family and faith are what brings true happiness. Reality is that in just three short years my oldest son leaves for college. Reality is that I am not getting any younger; and reality is...life happens.

So give yourself a reality check, adjust your perspective, and embrace that life will never be the same...only better.

Travelling

My work often requires me to travel...frequently.  Sometimes my travels are only a day trip, but other times travelling might be for an entire week or more.  When I speak with people regarding my travels, they often comment about how exciting it must be to fly to different cities, eat out, stay in hotels, meet with people, and see various sights.  But for those who have travelled for any length of time, the reality is completely different.  Travelling involves dirty airport bathrooms, high-sodium food, long days, lack of sleep, and separation from loved ones.  Sure, one might meet with interesting people, and even see a sight-or-two while travelling.  Yet, a sight seen in solitude falls short of the fulfillment one receives by seeing a sight with loved ones.  As for me, the family sight wins 24-7-365.

Happy Mother's Day

She calls me to bed as my body wearies;

She warms me at night like a blanket beside me;

She relaxes me as I lie in my bed surrounding me;
She coaxes me in dreams as REM consumes me;

She awakens me as the sun breaks the dawn;

She kisses me like sun rays upon my face;

She entices me to stay as the alarm sleeps;

She is my comfort, my joy, my rest;

She is my love.

Memories of Dad

Someone once said that: "You don't realize what you have until it's gone".  While this statement often rings true for many, such was not the case with me and my relationship with my dad.  Throughout my entire life, I always valued my dad--he was my hero.

This post is dedicated in his memory:  Thomas S. Smith, June 30, 1943 - April 5, 2005.
 

Each year around this time, my thoughts reflect more intensely on the memories I have of my dad.  The memories I recall the most are of the times during my junior high and senior high school days at OCA in Ocala.  Perhaps those days hold strong because we spent so much time together.  After all, he was the high school principal; but then there were all of the football and basketball games (and the removal of all the toilet paper from the trees around our house after all those games), the sports banquets, and all the other activities that kept us so busy.  Maybe it was all the time we spent working on the Malibu--fulfilling his dream of having a "hot rod" to pass on to me.  Perhaps those years are great memories because my dad was constantly investing in me, passing on his wisdom to me, knowing that he only had a short time before I was on my own.

My thoughts then turn to my college years, because my dad was there too--in Pensacola with me.  Dad was there, working odd jobs to put me through college, doing whatever it took for us to get by.  The memories of delivering Sunday morning newspapers with him seem like just yesterday...oh the laughs we had as we drove around in the Malibu at the break of dawn, tossing newspapers out the car windows.  Then there is the memory of the month we spent in that small RV, before he left to go back to Ocala; and the summer we lived in Sanford while we painted a bank together and stayed in a small travel trailer.  I  also remember the look of pride and joy on my dad's face when he first met his future daughter-in-law; and then years later, I remember that same look as he stood next to me as the best man at my wedding.  That proud look surfaced once again at my college graduation, when the culmination of tossing all those newspapers, working all those odd jobs, and completing all that hard work had finally paid off.  These memories are great because my dad was there, providing me with wisdom and support; but mostly because he was my friend.

The years of memories after college hold a special place in my heart, as my dad made all those trips to visit me and my family in Pennsylvania.  Although years have passed since I last lived in Pennsylvania, I remember those times vividly.  From the time my dad met his first grandson, and the time when he met his second grandson, I remember my dad's face beamed with happiness, knowing that his Smith name would be carried on through my two boys.  Yet, I also remember the tears he shed, the silence shared, and the support he provided when we lost our little baby.  How my heart ached for him, knowing that this may have been his only granddaughter from me.  But my heart lifted once again when he purchased a home nearby, and began laying the path to "snow-bird" there once he retired.  My family and I have many memories  with him at that little place we called "the cabin".  Best of all, we have several hours of video of him and my two sons, playing together, laughing together, and making lasting memories for them of their time with Grandpa Smith.  Perhaps those memories are best, because the love I had for my two boys made me realize just how much my dad loved me.

My memory saddens shortly thereafter as I recall how cancer once again took over my dad's body and eventually took his life.  Those memories are some of my darkest, as I struggled to understand why God would take my hero from me, his family, and his friends.  But then my thoughts quickly turn to the celebration of knowing that upon my dad's passing, he was with God.  Dad was no longer in pain, he could talk once again, and he was reunited with his family whom he had lost long ago.  In knowing that, I recall finding strength to make it through that day when I last saw his face, the day when friends and family gathered to honor him.

Even though seven years have passed since that day, I still watch the video my dad made for me that documents him partially restoring the Malibu.  Restoring that car was his way of coping with cancer and was a gift to me, in addition to the car.  Every time I watch that video, I imagine the joy he must have received when he launched the wheel spin on highway 301 with my sister filming the run from the back seat.  But each time I watch that video, a tidal wave of emotions also rushes over me as memories flood my mind of him and me together with that car.  Watching that video is extremely special to me because the Malibu is a common thread that runs throughout my memories with my dad--it was how we spent time together, it was the bond that kept us together, it was an expression of love to one another.

So as I reflect today on memories of my dad, I reflect on all the times we spent together, those memories that are forever implanted on my heart.  But most of all, I reflect on the longing to hear my dad say one more time:  "Son, you know I love you".

A Lifetime of Moments

In all of life, one...of the...greatest...moments...is time.

When one is young, time does not exist.  When one ages, time seems to speed up.  And when one finally realizes that time is slipping away, one may already be old.

Old is not in the sense of years, but in the memories of yesterday lost.  Old in the sense of that missed opportunity; that moment in time when a memory could have been made.

Time is only a memory, yet a memory lasts a lifetime; together they are beautiful.

Go make a memory today--it only takes a moment.

Words from the Heart

Occasionally one is inspired to write...today was my day.  The words below are vivid memories of times long ago, but they seem like only yesterday and are forever written on my heart.  I hope they touch your heart today.

Performance Coaching

Michael Smith

Liberty University, MBA Program

March 8, 2012

Bobby Knight, Rick Pitino, Mike Krzyzewski, and Dean Smith are just a few names associated with high performing, college basketball teams.  Each coach was unique; yet one characteristic was common among them all—the ability to bring out the best in each of their players, and by doing so, to win NCAA championships.  This author had a similar experience under a high school basketball coach named John Sivley.  Coach Sivley was a godly man, who first taught his players respect, trust, discipline, and how to build relationships; and secondly, to play the game of basketball.  The dedication and leadership of Coach Sivley led this player and his teammates to four consecutive Florida Christian Conference championships from 1986-1989 (see photos below).  Although the championship trophies from long ago now sit collecting dust, the memories, lessons, and examples displayed by that humble coach still linger in the mind of this student.

Similar to the game of basketball, the business field also needs coaches.  As Mahony (2010) identifies, a sporting coach wins games not by being on the court, but by effectively coaching from the sidelines; yet in the business context, coaches often get caught up in “playing on the court” and end up interfering with the performance of their team.  For many managers, coaching from the sidelines is difficult, because the manager knows how to play the game (of business), and because the manager often has the ambition, the intuition, and the experience to successfully navigate the business field.  Yet coaching is not about the manager per se, but rather about individual team members and their development, growth, and long-term success in the game of business.

Coaching is about a relationship—a “one-on-one partnership”—between a team member and a coach; the goal of this partnership is for the coach to provide support to the team member, developing behaviors that when put into practice, lead to the team member’s success (Ryan, 2009, para. 17).  Coaching is targeted, and a powerful form of development that enables a team member to achieve previously unattainable performance (Ryan, 2009).  The Bible presents a great example of coaching through Elijah’s relationship with Elisha.  Elijah coached Elisha in all aspects of faith and trust in God; and in the end, Elisha succeeded Elijah and received a two-fold filling of the spirit (2 Kings 2:9-14, NIV).

For this author, coaching relationships have proven invaluable; and while there are more business championships to win, this author is forever grateful for the business coaching provided by Dick Jackson, Kevin Camilli, Ron Gasper, Dan Berguson, and Tom Smith—who was not only the greatest coach of all, but also this author’s father and best friend.

References

Mahony, D.  (2010).  Performance coach.  People Management, 33.

Ryan, A.  (2009).  Coaching the key to effective performance.  Human Resources Magazine, 14(4), 22-23. 



Click here to read more about Coach Sivley's 545 career wins.  The
four plaques on the left of the mantle are from the OCA 1986-1989
FCC championships.  Photo by John Godbey, Decatur Daily.

This plaque hangs on my wall at home, and is identical
to the far left plaque in Coach Sivley's photo.

Coach Sivley and the six seniors (all rotating starters): Front row, left to right:

Paul Bloom, Josh Hetzel, Peter Commissiong, Mike Smith, Eric Robinson;

Second row, left to right: Coach Sivley, Jim Davis.